Rules for Negotiating Your Child Custody Agreement

When you’re filing for a divorce, a crucial consideration is the welfare of your children.

Reaching an agreement about the needs and schedules of your children can be a massive responsibility—especially in times when relations are already strained between the two of you. Neither of you want to budge and give way to the other.

Oftentimes, this can result in long, drawn-out legal battles. This not only puts stress on your already tensed mind, but can be extremely harmful and traumatic for your child.

Even when things are at their worst between the two of you as partners, remember that none of it should reflect on your relationship with your children as parents. Here are a few rules to consider when negotiating custody.

Your Child Comes First

Research has shown that children belonging to families with higher levels of conflict during divorces have a harder time adjusting to their new circumstances.

Put their needs first. Come to an agreement while putting your own differences aside. In this case, you are parents first and partners later. Find a way to avoid dispute as much as possible. And if you do reach a disagreement, try sparing your child the gory details by NEVER arguing in front of your children.

Don’t Let Your Emotions Get the Best of You

Divorces are hard, and emotions are usually running raw during this time. You may despise your partner, but trying to negotiate with your partner without being objective will only lead to heated arguments. Be civil. Take a deep breath and weigh out the pros and cons of every decision and see if it is in your child’s best interest.

Never Try to Pit Your Child against the Other Parent

Whatever differences you two may have between you, if the other parent has been a good father or mother to the children, trying to estrange your children from your ex-spouse will only lead to bitter feelings.

Your partner has as much of a right to his or her children as you do—unless there’s abuse involved.

Discuss Schedules and Physical Custody

Children require stability. When trying to decide on a schedule for your kids, take into account their needs and requirements. The schedule you decided when the child was five may not work when the child is thirteen. You need to leave room for flexibility when making decisions pertaining to your child’s welfare over time.

Keeping your personal desires aside. Try to objectively. Think about who will be better able to care for your children. If one parent is relocating closer to your children’s school, delegating responsibility to pick and drop them could be a good way of dividing responsibility.

Similarly, if one parent works extremely long hours and would not be able to give the children the time and care they need during the weekend, it might be better for both the parent and children for them to be the secondary physical custodian than the primary.

Be Prepared

Even if you’re not planning on taking the issue to court, hire a family solicitor to guide you through the process. It will also help to know UK child custody laws to make the decision-making process easier.

Wembley Solicitors, with their highly-trained and experienced team of professional solicitors, will guide you through the process of choosing the most favourable outcome for your child.