Helping Your Child Deal with Divorce: 5 Things You Should Do

If you look at divorce rate statistics for both opposite-sex and same-sex couples in the UK, you will notice that though divorce in the UK isn’t an epidemic, the same still occurs frequently enough. Keeping this in mind, it isn’t that farfetched to say that maybe some of you reading this blog are either going through divorces yourself or are helping someone you care for navigate one.

A Trying Time for All Involved

As solicitors who have settled numerous divorce proceedings and other related family law processes, one thing we do know is how much of a burden divorces can be on all involved. Apart from being financially challenging, divorces are nothing short of emotionally taxing. This so for both the individuals separating and more so for children involved if any.

Though our specialty is court procedures, we have learned a thing or two about caring for families going through divorce. These pointers should be helpful if you’re a parent who needs to help your child or children deal with the divorce you are going though.

Don’t Lie to Them 

Many couples make the mistake of lying to their children about their pending divorces until matters have reached a point of physical separation. This is not a good idea. Though you may think telling your child or children about your divorce in advance is a hassle, it really isn’t. Your child or children in most cases are bound to be upset. It is more a matter of whether you deal with this earlier or later.

Apart from this, children are perceptive and probably have a sense of what is happening even if you don’t tell them. Verbally validating what they may be feeling and gently giving them the facts makes the experience a lot less traumatic for your young ones.

Reassure Them

The biggest concern for children either consciously or subconsciously when their parents are going through a divorce is their own wellbeing as well as that of their parents. They will wonder what will become of them, who will look after them and whether their parents will be okay!

Reassure your children as much as possible. Tell them they will be safe, if the divorce is not happening under dire circumstances, explain they will have ample opportunity to connect with both parents. Make sure your children understand that no matter what form the family takes, they will still be loved and looked after. Apart from this, reassure them that both you and your partner will be okay too. Finally, make sure your children know that the divorce is not happening because of them. Children tend to misinterpret situations and harbor needless guilt if this is not clarified at an early stage.

Keep their Lives Predictable

A divorce brings a world of unpredictability and stress into your life. Even if this is so, try to keep things as stable as possible for your children. Make sure they get to school on time, don’t miss out on their meals, don’t leave them unattended and follow whatever daily schedules you may have had in place.

A transition will be made in any case. For the time being, time structure and routine are necessary and reassuring.

Keep Them Away from Heated Interactions

Let’s face it; even for the most level headed of us, divorces can be testing times. We may not be our best selves and heated arguments which may involve shouting, crying or verbal unpleasantness are not uncommon.

Though it is normal to have a heated interaction or even five during the period of your divorce, you and your partner should keep these away from the children. Apart from negative role modelling, you might say or do something that can stick with and scar your little ones for life.

If you’re about to have one of those difficult talks with your partner, maybe send the kids off somewhere first or save it for the lawyers office!

Hire a Solicitor

In order to see through the pointers above, you will probably need a degree of mental relief yourself. If you’re navigating the legalities of your divorce and are looking after your day to day this could get tiresome. Even worse, you might snap and take it out on your kids, forget an appointment or fall short on the care that is due to them.

To avoid this, it helps to get professional support. If you hire a divorce lawyer, you can leave the legal rigmarole to them and focus more on the emotional and logistical adjustments of your divorce. Most of all, if you have children in the picture, you get to divert more time and energy to helping make the transition easy on them!

In Conclusion

As we said, divorces are difficult and there is a degree of hardship and unpleasantness that you cannot escape. This being said, you can make it easier on yourself and your children by following the points above.

If you’re located in the UK, and are in need of a divorce or family solicitor specializing in divorce and family law we can help. Our firm offers effective legal services to clients in Wembley, Harrow, Greenford and other locations so feel free to connect with us for more information and support.